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Monday, August 18, 2008

Austin Butler (And Some Girl)

A reader named Ryan wrote me and let me know that Austin Butler had recently celebrated his 17 birthday, and he is therefore, as Ryan put it, "almost there." Almost, but not quite. Ryan inspired me to post a few more pictures of pretty Austin.

These seem to fall two categories, the first being very innocent looking photos of a shirtless Austin doing things that one doesn't necessarily normally do in a shirtless state, unless, I guess, you look like Austin Butler, and then honestly, why would you wear a shirt ever?

The others are professional shots of Austin with some girl, presumably his girlfriend. Looking at her I have a feeling I should know her from someplace; maybe a TV movie on Lifetime or The Disney Channel. She looks a little bit like a mini-Ellen Barkin, if Ellen Barkin used Britney Spears' stylist. These are divided into two subsets: a black and white set set features a lot of Austin skin while Girlfriend pulls a bitchface and feels him up. He's no more than sixteen in these pictures but it looks like he is auditioning for a Mexican Novella. Oh, and he looks like he wants to hurl. Perhaps I'm reading too much into this?

The second subset has Austin made-up as some kind of suburban idea of a punk rocker. The girl is also made-up, but it's the same kind of too much makeup for someone who isn't actually in drag as she's working in all of her pictures. Of course they are still groping each other, which, of course, sixteen-year-olds will do, albeit usually not in such a public forum.

Finally, we have one picture that stands alone. Austin, still in his "punk" make-up, facing the camera alone. He looks like the perfect little transvestite angel. I just want to take him into the bathroom, scrub his face with soap and water, and tell him that from now on he should stay out of Mommy's cosmetics.


  1. That's not his girlfriend. Thankfully, he doesn't have that kind of baggage leeching onto him.

    Though that doesn't explain the lipstick...

  2. Do you have inside information? Who is she?

  3. I thought it was Jamie Lynn? At least the first two pics are her. Isn't/wasn't he on Zoey 101 for a while?

  4. Aha! No! The first time I saw the black & whites I thought it was Jamie Lynn as well, because he had a short stint on Zoey 101 playing her boyfriend. (Forcing me to record Zoey frickin' 101 for several months.) But closer inspection tells me that these all feature the same girl and it is not Jamie Lyn Spears . In fact, I have one more picture of him in a cozy pose with this girl. So I have a sneaky, but totally unprovable suspicion she is or was his girlfriend.

  5. Yeah, because he's too young to have a beard. ;)

  6. i know them. that is his girlfriend. they've been going out for a longg time. i wont say her name for confidentiality reasons, but she went to school with me and for our winter formal we met up at her house and all went into a limo together. that was a few years ago, and they are still together as far as i know.

  7. He just is TOO beautiful. Should not do goth and should get rid of that one skanky-looking chick in the goth pictures.